Wednesday, 22 April 2015

Just vows OR more!

This week we had our appointment with the registrar who is going to marry us. We were told it would be about a 1 hour appointment which made me a little on edge as we had to take Munchkin with us. In the run up so many thoughts began floating around in my head.....what if hes tired and grumpy and cries through the whole thing or tries to run around the office like a looney! discussing vows and entertaining a 3 year old on a hot day for an hour!! I'm getting the sweats just thinking about it!
But Munchkin slept in the car on the way down. Tick!! that was the tiredness sorted! we arrived early so decided to go for a walk around town to bide our time! A gentleman came out of a shop and gave munchkin 2 huge punch balloons for free.....awwww lovely! (except when you are going to be shut in a small office on a hot day with a bored 3 year old and 2 huge punch balloons!)
We had also taken along Munchkins huge mini that opens out as a track with tiny cars inside hoping that this would be enough to keep him entertained.
We went into our appointment like we were moving in! I have no idea what the poor registrar thought about us! I quickly ushered the balloons under one of the desks and opened up Munchkins mini.....and......relax!

The meeting went well and the lady was so lovely! We went through some questions etc and she explained that there are some vows that have to be said by law and some that are more like promises that aren't compulsory. She gave us 5 to choose from in each section (3 sections) and we had to read them and choose which ones we wanted. My eyes were looking at the pages but nothing was going in! except Oh munchkin is quiet.....whats he up to!!, slightly awkward that we have to read and choose now!, Is Andy really reading them or is he doing exactly as i am. 
It was then followed by me thinking SHIT I have to read and choose one! So I turn to Andy and say 'ooooo they are all good.....what do you think babe?' to which he gives a number! brill yep we will go with that!
The registrar then took our choices along with the legal bit and read it all out. It sounded lovely and I even got quite teary.
The registrar then told us how things would go on the day to which munchkin had taken Daddies phone and was sat at the desk the same side as the registrar telling her about Angry birds!! Fair play she was amazing with him and engaged with him.

I read the chosen vows on the way home and the closer we got to home the more it began to feel not right.....our appointment only took 30 mins and we had just ticked boxes that id not even read.
When we got home I had a good read through all of the other options and as lovely as they were I found myself caring so much more about our vows than I thought I would. It then became more than the necessary part in order to get the marriage certificate. I wanted something more.....something more personal!
I explained the way I felt to Andy and he was shocked at how much it had bugged me and agreed that we would make our vows more personal. So today we discussed what was important within out relationship etc So we are working on them as we speak!
I think the reason it started to bug me was a few days ago we found out that a friend of ours had an affair and had planned to leave his wife to be with this other woman but at the last minute he changed his mind but his wife found out. They have been married a while and have 3 children together one of which is a baby under 1. My heart went out to her and I couldn't get it out of my mind! They had stood together and taken vows only a couple of years ago and still he had done this! So I began to realise at first vows may seem a minor yet essential part of your wedding day but in times of trouble you may well look to these vows! So Take the time to make sure your vows say exactly what you want them too.

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