The neglected 'me'

When I was younger and lived at home I would always say to my Mum....'Mum why don't you get your hair done at the hair dressers, why don't you go and buy yourself some new clothes/shoes. My Mum was always putting herself before everyone else.
Since having Munchkin I turned onto the woman my Mum was....putting everyone and everything before me. I neglected me and as embarrassed as I am to say it I haven't had my hair cut in about 5 years. I don't get my nails done, I don't have several perfumes....actually I own two at very most and a only buy a new one when my existing one runs out. Continuing on the embarrassing side of things.....most of my knickers are at least 5 years old! Yes I know I know!! Basically I've lived by the fact that if I have something and it does the job.....why buy new.

When it comes to buying something for Hubs or Munchkin I don't think twice! I will happily pay £15 for jeans for munchkin but wont spend that on myself. Hubs is constantly telling me to buy whatever I want but I just feel like I have better things to spend the money on.

Its not just fashion that I have neglected myself with its my health. I bite my nails (horrible habit I know!) Its something that I've always done. I get embarrassed going to get acrylic nails because if the state of my nails. My skin has been neglected also.
I hadn't been to the dentist for years as I just saw it as an expense that I didn't want to fork out on so about a month ago when I had to have a tooth out my Hubby said enough is enough and signed me up to a private dentist. Of course before you can get signed up you have to have any pre existing issues sorted first resulting in a £1500 bill for bits and bobs. Since having Munchkin 6 years ago yes I brushed my teeth but used the cheapest toothbrush/toothpaste I could find and just gave them a quick brush before I dashed off to do the next thing on my list.

This blog post isn't a 'poor me' post but its me realising that I can spend some time and money on me and not feel guilty for it. A lot of my friends go to the hair dressers once a month, have a tan, eyebrows, eyelashes and nails done very regularly as well as having all the top brands...(Not that there is anything wrong with that) while that will never completely be me, I am going to make an effort now that I've turned 30 to look after 'Me' a bit more. I know that there are more people out there like me who have neglected themselves because they think the money is better used somewhere else within the house/family. Let me know in the comments if you have neglected 'you'.
#dontforgetaboutyou

Update & working guilt

Blogging has had to take a back step for me over the past few months as I went back to work! Ive had so many mixed emotions about returning to work as I've not worked since having munchkin!

I knew I needed to get a job as Hubs had started a new job in a new line of work and started as an apprentice so it ment in the short run that he would be on a basic wage until they increase it a few months in.
Munchkin was going full time in school so now was the right time for me. I only work part time (22hr) and I find that it is the right balance for me because I cant take munchkin to school then go back home, do some cleaning, washing and prep dinner then go to work. I finish work just after his school finish time so he goes to an after school club until I pick him up.
I was so lucky to find a job which gives me the same school holidays off so i don't have to worry about finding childcare within school holidays.
For the first month I had loads of feelings of guilt about him being at school for so long and not being able to pick him up at the school gates each day with everyone else. As time went on I realised that he actually loved after school club and me working allows us to still have nice holidays etc.

Ive been working now a few months and I'm loving it! 
I don't have many family members who live close to me so to be like 'Mum, can you collect from school today' is not an option for me.
Going back to work is bringing a little bit of confidence back for me and I'm enjoying the social interaction.
I have so so so much coming up on the blog within the next few weeks so keep your eyes peeled!!
speak soon!
       K

Mummy guilt!

So the time has come for me to find a job! Since having munchkin ive been lucky enough to be a stay at home mum and to be honest with you ive loved it every single second! I love being there to get up with him every day, get him ready for school, pick him up from school etc. I would be more than happy to continue being a stay at home Mum but with andy changing jobs there just isnt enough income coming in.
Due to not having my mum around and my dad not really being a hands on Grandad we really dont have any close family around. Andys parents live about and hour and half away and we see them once a fortnight.

Basically we need the money and I came to the decision that I need to get a job that gives me schools holidays free because ive got no one to have munchkin. Luckly I have a diploma in childcare and education so im hoping to get into a teaching assistant role. Ive started applying for jobs ready to start in September, So fingers crossed!
Im going to have to put Munchkin into breakfast club before school and an after school club just until I can get from the school im working in to munchkins school. It really kills me to think that im going from him being in nursery 2.5 hours a day (mon - fri) to not only him going into fulltime school but breakfast clubs and after school clubs too! It makes me tear up just thinking about it! Am I being a bad Mum? If not then why do i feel like one!

Since I started looking for jobs it made me realise that its so hard for parents who have children and would like to go back to work without much support around them. Cant someone create a job roll for mums that starts after school drop off and ends in time to collect at the end of the school day! Nope! no such thing!

Its never really bothered me not being a career person, im much more content being a Mummy! Do you juggle work and being a Mum? I would love to hear how you do it with childcare etc
Why do I feel so much guilt!!