Showing posts with label parent loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parent loss. Show all posts

Friday, 8 April 2016

Organ donation, Why??

When I was about 14 I remember going onto the internet and typing in 'Organ donation' . I remember wanting to know more about it. I approached my Mum and told her that I wanted to become an organ donor, She looked at me as if I had gone crazy and said 'Ok love!' I guess she kinda just shrugged it off. As soon as I could I got on line and registered as an organ donor. My card arrived and I remember feeling quite proud and as though even just registering as an organ donor was sense of achievement!

I remember my Mum coming into my room and saying 'Love.....Is this something you are sure you want to do? I wont be doing it!' 'Yes of course' I replied. Mum then said 'Please don't let them take your heart or your eyes'. I told my Mum the same thing that I tell people today, which is this...

What good are my organs to me when I'm gone? Would it help the healing process for my family if I kept my organs? I think not! What may help the healing process is to know that my organs went to people who needed those organs to survive and continue to be able to live happy healthy lives!
Mum nodded, smiled and left my room.
A week later Mum approached me with a huge smile on her face, 'Ive got something to show you' she said. As I sat with her she placed a card in my hand, When I looked it was a donor card for herself and she had ticket the 'Donate all' box. I was amazed! She told me she had thought about my choice to become and organ donor and how I explained it to her. She said she felt as though not being an organ donor felt almost selfish.

Most people get freaked out buy organ donation and more so donating corneas (part of the eye). There is a massive shortage of cornea donation in the UK! The reason I choose to opt in to donate my corneas is the same as all my other organs....they wont be any use to me. But someone could be able to see their new born baby clearly for the first time or be able to look in to their partners eyes clearly as they say their vows on their wedding day.

Ask yourself this!
If your Partner, Child, Mother, Brother, Sister etc had an accident or became ill and needed an organ to live, Would you expect/hope for there to be an organ available? I know I would!
How would you feel sitting by your loved ones bedside just waiting for an organ to become available knowing that someone somewhere just refused to become and organ donor because they 'don't like the thought of it'?
I feel very strongly that if you expect to receive, Its only fair that you are willing to give.
If everyone in the world refused to become an organ donor or to give blood then a hell of a lot of people would be dying but yet it everyone became a donor then just think how many more lives can be changed.

Know that someone somewhere who chose to opt in just saved a little girls life, Or allowed a woman to continue her dream of living to be a dancer or a Father who can now play football with his children.
People in this country get so cross when food goes to waste 'That could have been given to the homeless man who needs it!' Same goes for organs in my opinion.

My Mum passed away suddenly in 2007 and due to having the discussion that I did with her, her organs were able to be donated in order to save lives of others.


Recently near my home town there was an tragic incident in which a Father and his young son were knocked over and sadly passed away. The wife and Mother Anna Louise Bates Made the decision to continue with her husband and sons wishes to donate their organs organs. Ive heard people discuss this 'How could she do that?' Let me tell you that woman has gone through hell and she made the selfless decision to donate her son and husbands organs in order for others to survive. It doesn't change the fact that she loved them more than anyone can know it means that she was able to create hope for others!
Believe Organ Donor Support

Anna has now gone on to set up a charity Called 'Believe' which aims to promote and support organ donation across wales and Beyond.
  Here is a link to the Believe site:- www.believe-ods.org.uk/
To Anna if you happen to be reading this I wish you all the luck in the world with the charity, your boys are so proud of you I'm sure! Try to stay strong though the hard times and know that what you are doing is saving lives.

I am not part of the Believe Charity nor do I work for any other organ donation organisation and I have not been asked by anyone to write this post. These are my own thoughts and feelings on organ donation. I feel very passionate about organ donation and even if this post encourages just one person to change their opt out decision or to be able to have the discussion with their family then I will be happy.

Organ donation Wales:- /organdonationwales.org
Organ donation NHS:- www.organdonation.nhs.uk

Monday, 31 March 2014

Mum without a Mum

After losing my mum very suddenly a few years ago it tore my world apart.
Mother Day is always a difficult time of the year for me as Ive lost both my Nan and Mum and seem to get emotional at the simplest of things for example this morning we popped into Asda and while waiting to pay i went into a world of my own watching people busily rush by then I noticed a woman who had the biggest bunch of roses from the shop....her partner said 'by god Hun.....they are £30' to which she replied 'only the best for my Mum'.  She was right! Mums deserve the best!
That triggered me and i could feel myself getting all tearful as i started to look at everyone buying flowers for their mums and Nans.....Why was mine taken away? I want to give my Mum the biggest bunch of flowers and watch her smile with joy when i hand them over to her followed by a huge cuddle and kiss...but i cant. Yes i could put them on the grave but its not the same.

I get envious of women that i see with their mums and i get angry at people who don't respect their Mums. They aren't going to be there forever and i certainly didn't expect to lose my mum before she was 50.

If you are reading this and you have lost your mum you will know exactly how i feel. We would give the world to see them, cuddle them and kiss them and chat to them about girly things and have them there to give advise.....but our opportunity has gone.


If you are reading this and you are lucky to have your mums and grand mothers here this is what my advice would be...


  • Don't be embarrassed to tell them you love them as often as you can. It can never be said too much.
  • Its easy to say don't argue but having a few cross words is part and parcel of parent and child relationships, however make up before you go out or before you go to sleep. I argued with my mum before she dies and unfortunately didn't get change to say sorry and make up.
  • Treat her....take her our shopping..even if its just for a browse, treat her to afternoon tea or lunch or even just a girly night in with a bottle of wine.
  • Don't wait for her birthday, mothers day or Christmas to let her know what she means to you! 
I'm not telling you how you should manage your relationship with your mum I'm just letting you know about the things i wish I'd done more and i wouldn't have lived with regrets and guilt after i lost her.

I cant bring my Mum back but you can make the most of your Mums before something happens to them and your chance is taken away.

To everyone whos Mum has passed away.....Keep their memory strong, keep your head and chin up (even if it falls from time to time), make the woman who you called Mum so proud. Treasure each moment you shared together. Cry tears because they arent here and miss them with all your heart. Its good to let it out.
Stay strong
All my love!
If anyone is in the same situation as me and would like to talk please feel free to email me
mywouldandme26@gmail.com